I don’t know exactly what to write but I just want to fill my website with new post because it is up again after few months of hibernation.
Once again, I had the strength of a food-eating person. Wasn’t able to pray. Still, struggling with the back pain. I applied Salonpas on my back hoping the pain will go away. It’s still present while I’m writing this post. Planned to do my laundry tonight but I think it can wait until tomorrow when this colds at my back leave me away. My agenda for tonight will be to say a little pray, watch TV and sleep.
I woke up feeling normal as if I was eating food regularly. I prayed last night but not today. Back pain haunted me. I felt strong but because of back pain I felt cold inside. As usual, I walked after office work. Didn’t do my laundry. Just rested and woke up from time to time. Hope everything is fine tomorrow.
Yes, it’s my Day 2 of fasting and I felt dizzy and weak. I didn’t get a chance to write Day 1 because I never thought keeping a journal during this time is one of the activities I could do. And I read somewhere that to start Day 1, I need three days preparation like eating soft food and drinking lots of water. Instead, I have invited my friends to an eat-all-you-can lunch a day before my fasting.
Today, in the office I felt weak and dizzy but my mind was not failing. I can still think. I’m a little worried if I can actually do this since my work involves a lot of thinking, generating more ideas.
As an exercise I walked home. Lots of thoughts filled my mind while walking. As if people passing around me are just secondary thing my mind would notice. I’m worried. Will I faint? Can I reach home? Can I sleep and wake up still alive?
My only comfort was the information I learned from others who fasted. The first three days will be difficult because you will feel hungry, dizzy and weak. Because body’s waste leaves away.
I didn’t mention I decided to fast drinking only water everyday. Not juice, not bread and not one meal a day but only water.
I pray this time that God bless me emotionally, spiritually and physically.
I heard mass tonight but I was late because taxi cabs are very few during that time. So, when I reached the church, the mass was already half-way finished.
It’s quite a long time since my last visit to the church. Even last Christmas and New Year, I wasn’t able to attend the mass. This is the other side of me. The exact opposite of what I was.
After the mass, I thought of inviting one of my friends for a dinner. It didn’t happen. Some limitations are present that I have no control. I went home instead. But along the way, as I wait for a taxi cab, I saw someone doing what I regretted in the past. The black reflection in the mirror of my past. I pitied that person. Most of all, I pitied my own self.
That is why I say, freedom is for the wise. Wise men know how to use that freedom in an appropriate way. Using freedom in a wrong manner makes a person fool.
I wonder how a fool like me thinks he can write what is right?
Happy New Year to all visitors and non-visitors. Hope to give you valuable write-ups this year 2008.
